My tumblr people, are you there for me?
well i just learned a good way to trick/embarrass someone tell them, “the arm you masturbate the most is the hairiest” and they’ll immediately look at one of their arms i just did it to like 4 people omg
Someone: Wow you got fat Me: Someone: Me: Someone: Me: Wow who stabbed that knife in your face Follow this blog, you will love it on your dashboard
if i ever got sentenced to house arrest i’d just laugh at the judge
let’s talk about how small a can of soda looks like in shaq’s hand
I pull weird faces in photos because it’s better to look ugly on purpose
Police officer: Miss Lohan you're over the legal drinking limit.
Lindsay Lohan: THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST!
remember when they were going to censor the internet
a man walks into a bar and the bartender asks “hey why the long face?” the man ignores the bartender and orders his drink
me: that sounds mean i better add a lol at the end
Draco: Nice scar. Where did you get it?
Harry: Thanks. Voldemort gave it to me back in the 80's.
Draco: Vintage. So adorable.
Harry: Thanks. *walks away*
Draco: That is the ugliest effing scar I've ever seen.